My sweet little one

On 13th of December 1968 my sweet little one (my little pearl)was born and my joy knew no bounds when I came to know from my in-laws house about the new born and I was proud to be a father of a golden girl.I could not resist my anxiety of seeing the little one and my father on the other side was joyous of becoming a grandfather.We both immediately took up an auto and went to the public hospital in West mambalam to see the little one.On reaching the hospital and enquiring the room where my little one is and  my joy knew no bounds.The little one got me a scooter where my father had a condition that I will get a scooter only after I have a child.The little one had beautiful eyes to attract and she was born in the early morning we decided to give her name as Aruna since she was born on the rise of the sun.Most people in those days expect the first child as a son but I was happy to get a daughter and a daughter is always affectionate to her father.I was also telling my friends that I am very happy that I have a daughter.I will write more in my next episode.

 

 

Shifted to Besant Nagar from Mandaveli

After nearly spending our time after marriage in a small apartment in Mandaveli for six months we moved to Besant Nagar to our new 2bedroom apartment on 18th of November 1968.Ours was the first block to be constructed and we occupied with my dad and my cousin and the place was looked like a desert with nothing available in the place.Even for shopping we have to go Adyar or shastrinagar to get our daily things.My wife was in the advanced stage of pregnancy and the date was fixed on 26th of Decemer 1968.There was only one bus was plying between Besant Nagar and Parry’s corner and I had to rush up every day to catch the bus at 9 am to go to my office in Royapuram where I was working.My office in Royapuram is 25 kilometers from Besant Nagar and while coming back in the evening I will be practically tired.
On 9th of December 1968 we went to attend a marriage in Nalvazvu kalyana mandapam in Llyods road and when we came back from the marriage Lalitha got pains and we had to rush her to the Hospital since there was no facilities available at Besant Nagar.She was admitted on 10th of December 1968 and our first child was born on 13th December 1968 and she was named Aruna which is also the name of our Apartment since she was the first child in the block.My dad,myself and Lalitha were very happy with the new born.We moved to the new apartment “Aruna”on 19th of May1969.since I was going by bus I was very tired while coming back home in the evening and I thought it is better to have a two wheeler to save my time and also some more of my precious time with my new born.I was asking my dad to get me a two wheeler and he told me that he will consider my request only after I get my child since I will drive carefully when I have a child.But to my disappointment he did not keep up to his promise and I decided to get a two wheeler of my own since my employers were giving a loan for purchase of two wheelers.When I decided to get one my dad asked me not to take a loan and he will get a vehicle for me.Finally I got a vehicle TMW 7015 when added all the numbers of the vehicle it was 13 my daughters birthdate.My father-in-laws house number was also 13 Gopal street T.Nagar and 13 was a lucky number for me.With that I was going to the office comfortably and the trafic those days was not much and the gas was only Rs2.75 per liter.My life was happy with Aruna and my dad was showering his love for his grand daughter.My life was completely changed after the arrival of Aruna.Myself and Lalitha were happy with our child.our life starred with Aruna with lot of happiness.

After marriage

I will post you my future episodes in a day or two.please be patient.

Marriage Proposals&Marriage

As I mentioned earlier in my blog that I am going write about my marriage proposals that went through the time when I was working in Royapuram  Branch of Indian Bank .In this context I wish to state that my father never used to talk to me generally from my childhood and whatever we wanted to convey we used to have a blackboard and I will write whatever I require and he will reply me.Similarly the same used to apply with him also.He will also write  and I will reply.I cannot tell you reason why were like that but it was like that for years together.When my friends visit to our house where we were living they used to call my father as my room mate.They will first put the question whether my room mate is there in the house.If I say he is inside they will not enter my house because they are afraid of him.They have a reason since my father used to shout at them for no reason.

Now coming to my marriage aspects, my father wanted to get me married and  as usual since he never used to talk to me the proposal was placed in the blackboard for my approval.I was only 26years at that time  and wanted to enjoy my time and I refused to accept his wish and I wrote that I am not interested.Hence one year passed and again the proposal came after one year and this time he did not write on the blackboard instead he told to one of my best friend Mr.Dhandapani  to know about my decision.Dhandu as we call him asked me whether I am interested and I replied him to give my consent to my father.He immediately conveyed to my father about my consent and the developments started in an earnest way.I will narrate the same one by one till finally I was engaged.

Girl no 1:Bragathgujambal:Funny Name;This girl I saw on 3rd of November 1967.The girl was good looking and was working in a government organaisation  in chennai.Though I liked the girl my father and,my grandmother did not like because the parents of the girl went to my grandmother’s place and asked about my mother’s jewels which were in the custody of my grandmother after my mother’s death since my father and me living with them.The question posed by the parents of the girl to my grandmother upset her and she advised my father to refuse the proposal since they are particular about our wealth aspects.And they also had a question whether her daughter will give the money she earns  will give it to them.So the proposal was rejected.

Girlno:2.Yogajayam the girls name.I saw her on 23rd November 1967.Turned down since my father and other family members did not like the girl.

Girlno:3.Shanthi:Age of the girl was 26 and I was 27 at that time and in those days the parents are  of the opinion that the difference of the age between the bride and the bridegroom should be atleast  3 to four years.Hence the proposal was dropped.

Girlno:4Gowri: This happens to be my uncles daughter and I was having a lot of interest in her being my uncle’s daughter.We lived together for about 6 years and she was my neighbour in Tambaram a suburb of chennai.She was the third daughter of my uncle and he had six daughters and a son.I used to visit them quite often after they shifted their residence from Tambaram to mylapore and we also by the time shifted from tambaram to Mandavelli.I liked her and she was also well trained in domestic duties.She was good looking too.When I expressed my desire to my father  through my friend Dhandapani it was not approved and instead my father called my aunt from Mumbai to chennai to give her advise stating that the responsibility of  the other three daughters of my uncle will fall on me  and my father will not live with me if I marry her.I was reluctant to concede to her advice and my aunt  further went on to say that my father has sacrificed his life of not marrying once again was just because of me and if he would have married my life would have been different.With a lot of thinking in my mind I had to desert her too and that was a painful decision.

Girlno:5:Rekha. The girl was living in Rasipuram  and her father was a lawyer.He was a well known man in his place and was having a decent income.He was living comfortably and Rekha was his only daughter.He wanted to get his  daughter married after her graduation and wanted me to get a transfer from my bank to Rasipuram branch after the marriage.I was not interested in that alliance too since I thought my father has to continue  taking his food in the hotel after the marriage.Since he cannot come and stay with me.

 

Girlno:6;Lalitha:  This alliance was brought to my father by my niece and she was also distantly related to me.She was the third daughter in the family out of five and she had two elder sisters married and two younger brothers.the girls father  was working in Railways and  a very good  human being.After the procedure of  matching the horoscopes the next procedure of seeing the girl was arranged.I saw her on 28th December 1967  and to accompany me my aunt from Mumbai,My sister-in-lay and my brother,My cousins.Everybody liked the girl and so also my father.But I did not gave my consent  immediately and I wanted two days time to tell my decision.After reviewing with my Dhandu I finally gave my consent.I took two days just because I was considering the height aspects of the girl since she was short.But I finally decided  leaving the  height aspects because the family was  good.Our betrothal took place on 3rJanuary 1968 i.e.Happened to be a day world tamil conference  was conducted.Our marriage was fixed on 17th March 1968 and conducted in a marriage hall “Devendra Kalyana Mantapam” in T.Nagar area and attended by a very large gathering.Now we have completed 45 years of married life with three loving daughters  all of them settled  abroad  two of them in Sydney and the middle one  settled in USA Arizona.Father lived with me after my marriage for 11years and he passed away on 30th August 1979.During his association with his daughter-in-law he enjoyed  the happiest time in his life.Because she was giving him the food he liked and wanted.

 

 

Royapuram Branch

Royapuram branch where I started my bank service was one of my favorite Branches since its was my first Branch and I had the opportunity of having good friends of one Mr.Kripashankar Trivedi  was a good human being.He was very affectionate,fun loving and  a good person to have an association.I was going to Royapuram Branch by bus every day covering a distance of 50 kilometers up and down.The journey to the Branch was tiresome but I enjoyed it because I had good friends there in the Branch.Iworked there nearly for eight years and during that  time only  I had  my marriage  proposal.I joined in the Branch in 1962 and left  the Branch in 1970. I  will in my next episode write about my marriage proposal and the subsequent  incidents that took place  before my marriage.In my  opinion Royapuram. Branch was,one of the best Branches. I worked in a span of 36 years of my Bank service.Let me go in my next one about my marriage.

cricket

Right from my school days I love playing cricket  and it was my life.I represented my school and doing very good with the game.My father was very much against it since he thought that it will affect my studies and never allowed me to play the game.But every available opportunity I took the game very seriously. After my schooling we left my grandparents and settled in to a small house in Mandaveli and I joined in vivekananda college in Mylapore.I had very few opportunities to get in to the college team since there were players better than me in all respects.The team was very good and the inter collegiate matches our college did very well and annexed the Duncan trophy regularly.Only once I had the chance of playing and I did not do well in that match.I was very unhappy that I could not get chances to represent my college.In the meanwhile I got a chance to represent the Tamil Nadu cricket  association league matches.One Mr.Vasan who was running a club called “Young stars cricket  club” which was in the third division of the league invited me to play for his club.I was a good batsman  at that time and he gave me a chance to go at NO:3 position.In a match against Egmore cricket club I scored 75 runs and Mr.Vasan was very happy to call me frequently for the matches.Myself and one of my good friend Varadarajan both represented the team and we really did very well and secured our place in the team permanently.Again this was not liked my father who thought my studies will get spoiled because of the game. Mr.Vasan used to send a letter to come for the next match my father used to destroy that letter  with the result I will not know about the match.But I used to see in the Hindu paper about  our schedule and go to the ground without his knowledge.The matches will be always on Sundays and I used to stand outside my house with a dhoti and a shirt .the previous day I will send my white pant,white shirt,and shoes  through my friend so that he can bring the same to the ground on the next day.My father will think that with dhoti and shirt I cannot go to the match.But at 9.30 in the morning I will just leave the house with dhoti and the shirt and reach the ground by cycle.I will play the match and return home in the evening with the dhoti and shirt once again.But he will come to know of it when the match results published in the papers and my name will appear in headlines that I  took 6 wickets in the match and responsible for our teams victory.On seeing the paper he will stare at me and warn me not to go to the match again.But the same thing will continue and I was never afraid of going for the match.

Indian Bank

I came back to chennai from Mumbai and immediately went for a written test in Indian bank which I got through and was called for an interview on 1st of March 1962.I did well in the interview and was offered a job .I joined the Bank service on 9th of March 1962 and was posted to a branch called Royapuram Branch in chennai about 20 kilometeres from Mandaveli where I was living at that time.I had to take two buses to reach that place.The branch atmosphere was good and I was able to learn with the help of a very good Manager Mr.Ramaswamy iyer.He laso liked me very much and taught me the in and out of Bank procedures.First I was given training in cash department for which I had to be very careful in dealings of cash in the Bank.I was not happy with that and after two years of my service with  cash I took Accounts department.I was very happy to learn the work,but the main thing was the time factor since I had to travel 40 kilometeres up and down to my office.By the time I am back to my house will be about 8pm in the night.I had no frequent bus services to that place and had to wait  indefinitely to get my transport back to my home.Slowly I learnt a lot of work and I got appreciation from my superiors and was asked to take very responsible positions in the bank work.I contributed a lot for the work entrusted to me.My colleagues in the bank also liked me very much and I somehow took liking to the Bank work.Since the Bank administration know that I am a very good cricket player and was playing in the first division of Tamil Nadu cricket association league they were interested in taking me for the Bank team.I was reluctant to play for the Bank team since they were in the fourth division and my chances of playing for state level will affect my chances if I play for the fourth division.I refused to play for the Bank team and they did not force me  for about one year.But when the next season started they compelled me to play for their team.otherwise I will be tranferred out of chennai.I took a decision at that time and with all my friends advise and I accepted that I will play for them.Moreover the captain of the team was one Mr.Gopalakrishnan who then became the chairman and managing Director of Indian Bank.Before joining Indian Bank I was playing for his club called Mylapore recreation club and I performed well for the club under his captaincy.Susequently Mr.Gopalkrishanan was also the captain of the Bank team.That was the reason the Bank was interested in my playing for the Bank.In the very first match for the Bank I performed very well in an Hindu Trophy match which was on a 30 over basis and I took all the seven wickets that fell including a hatrick.The Bank management was very happy and they presented me  a gift cheque which was worth Rs50.In those days fifty rupees is a huge amount.My association with the Bank cricket team went for nearly 25 years and I was not transferred out of chennai during my entire service.My father who was dead against my playing cricket supported me  while playing for the bank team simply for the reason that I was not transferred out of chennai.He was very proud of telling my family members that I play very well and even came to witness some of my matches.I was happy that he did not stop me from playing cricket.The man who was dead against sports finally gave his approval once the Bank Management decided to keep me chennai since I played for them.I had my tough period of playing cricket before I joined the  Bank service which I will narrate in my next post.

After a long gap

I last had my blog exactly two years before this i.e 25february 2010 and like to continue after a long silence.My memories are back to my college days once again.After finishing my pre university course,I had to decide what I should choose for my career.I had a lot of passion for the course “Economics” and I told my father of my intention to study economics as my  next step.In those days the children are not allowed to have their wishes and my dad was completely against my wish,instead I was compelled to take Mathematics as my subject.I told him that after I finish my graduation in  economics I wanted to do postgraduate in  economics and go for IAS examination.But my dad was totally against my wishes and clearly told me that he will pay my fees only I take Mathematics as my main subject.He wanted me to pursue Engineering after my graduation.In my school days I was good in Mathematics and hence my father insisted me for that course.I took Maths as my main subject and statistics being my subsidary subject.But the problem with the course was I had one commerce  and one philosophy  as my minor subjects.I did well in my first year completing English paper  which I had to write.In the second year too I did my statistics well and got first class in the subject.One of the condition during the final year that I had to write Maths main and the minor subjects commerce and philosophy in one stretch and even if I get 60% in my main subject(Maths) and if I fail in commerce or philosophy I had to wait for one more year to finish the minor subject and get my degree.That is exactly what happened to me.I did’nt do well in philosophy with the result I had to wait for one more year to get my degree.My father  in the meantime sent me to Bombay to be with my uncle and after spending time over there with my cousin’s wanted me to return back to chennai to write the exams.I was very upset and not allowing me to take the course which I was interested did not return from Bombay and took a job with one of my friends help.Finally when I returned to chennai wrote the minor subject and got through I got my degree after 18 months.This i am sure nobody either my wife or my daughter’s know about it. So when my daughter’s finished their schooling  I never interfered in their wishes of taking the course of their choice.After finishing my degree I once again went to Bombay where I had a very good opportunity of getting a job in Tata Institute of fundemental research where I had to be under a professor to assist.It was a very good job and the professor told me that I have a very good chance of going abroad for my future.And this was conveyed to my father ,again the same thing happened.He was not interested in me taking that job and asked me to return back to chennai to take a job in Indian Bank chennai as a clerical staff.I was distressed and back to chennai to fulfill my father’s wish once again.Either in studies or in sports activities i was not allowed to do anything  of my own.But finally I thought everything he did was to my good since he sacrificed his life for me after he lost his wife  and did not marry again for the sake of my future.

29days of happiness

Father’s in general will be happy to be with their daughter’s at any period of time for which I am not an exception. I was expecting anxiously the arrival of my daughter and  granddaughter on December 25th 2009. The expected day came and my joy knew no bounds when I saw them at about 1.30pm on day 25th. I had my food with them as soon as they arrived and after taking rest for about two hours got ourselves ready for a  drama in the evening. We could not see the entire drama as my granddaughter was feeling sleepy and returned home early. Daughter had  lot of plans during her trip to India and one such was a trip to south and we set ourselves ready for the trip. We started on 3rd of January2010 to the places of interest in south India and the company I had with my daughter and my grand daughter was one of the happiest moments of my life. Their charming look and their affection towards me carried me to extreme happiness which I will never forget in my life. The days will be remembered forever. We returned to our home on 6th of January2010. I was counting the days of their return and when the day arrived I felt I was left alone in this world. I should thank God I have three beautiful daughter’s who are always with me to give their true affection. I have not regretted on any day that I have no son, but on the contrary I am always proud of having such wonderful daughter’s who care for me everyday in their life. I must only thank God that he has given me such good looking and affectionate daughter’s. This is from my heart and is no exaggeration. The day of their departure shook me and I felt as though I was left alone in this world. The question of permanantly living  with all of them is out of my proportions since all of them are settled comfortably abroad and I can only dream of doing that. As long as I live I will always think about them and their childhood memories will be always in my heart. One day I have to leave all of them and that makes me sad.

All IN Smiles

I am now exited about Lalitha’s  back to normal and happy to note that she is burstling with activities once again.The energy she lost  about three weeks back is regained and the fear in my mind is complety vanished.I would like to see her this way than keeping herself in the bed and worrying about her children.I am also a relaxed person now and  I understand that I have to coperate with her in all her deeds.But the one thing I cannot compete with her is going out often for shopping which I can’t.My nature is such that I want to be at home always sitting on the computer or watching the cricket matches that are going through out the world.It is my passion.I see her now beautifully dressed and going for the music performances and to the temples and most of the time talking to her dear friends and relatives.I cannot bear the tension when she is sick and I want to see her in future too that she should be always happy with no health hazards.Hope god will give her more strength to carry on with the same vigour in the years to come.The happiness is seen in her face when she talk to her daughters is a scene to be watched.